Find recurring themes and triggers, focus on the issue, use I-feel instead of blame, and agree on pause and review.
What This Question Is Really Asking
Some fight to win or give the silent treatment; stars are tendency, while relationships rely on seeing needs and changing communication.
The Underlying Logic
Note recurring themes and triggers.
Replace blame with I-feel statements.
Agree on pause and review rules.
Take abuse or ongoing harm seriously and seek help.
A Step-by-Step Way to Read It
- Note conflicts
- Find themes
- Settle emotions
- Change expression
- Agree on pause
- Seek help if needed
Three Common Mistakes
Mistake 1: Fight to win
Mistake 2: Bring up the past
Mistake 3: Use the silent treatment
Back to Your Own Chart
For constant fights, find recurring themes and triggers, focus on the issue, use I-feel instead of blame, agree on pause and review, and seek help if there is abuse.
Reading Order
- Cast the natal chart first and locate the palaces and major stars tied to What to Do When a Couple Keeps Fighting and Bringing Up the Past before judging anything
- Open the triple-direction of those palaces and count the auspicious, malefic and assistant stars separately
- Check where the natal Four Transformations land to set the chart's baseline tone
- Read the decade-limit transformations to see whether the What to Do When a Couple Keeps Fighting and Bringing Up the Past line is activated in this stage
- Then read the annual transformations and the year's palace to pin down this year's trigger and timing
- Layer natal, decade and year before concluding, then decide how to act rather than labeling good or bad